Can you delete your ho-ness?

A few months ago I was talking with my oldest daughter and she asked me the strangest question. She was speaking on her cell phone with a group of friends that were having a social media conversation around the following question, “Can you delete your ho-ness”? 

I asked her what is “ho-ness”? 

She began to describe the way the conversation had begun, that they were discussing a female that they had all known in high school who was known back then as a “ho”. Supposedly she was now dating one of their friends and claimed that she no longer was the woman of her past.

I looked up the term from an urban dictionary/ ebonics type of slang and it says a ho is another name for whore, “  a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money or personal gain; prostitute; harlot; strumpet. verb (used without object), whored, whoring, to act as a whore. A woman who uses her body or gives the impression that she will for material gain or to boost her own ego”.

So they were having a discussion about someone being able to just delete their “ho-ness”.

My daughter turned to me and seriously asked me this question once again and I immediately said yes. In that short moment I was reminded that when I was a teenager by definition I may have been described by others as a "ho". I became sexually promiscuous at a young age for many reasons. One of those being that I was sexually abused as a young girl and the other was having major daddy issues, causing me to be unable to discern the premature relationships I was in and thinking that lust and love were the same thing. But then something happened that deleted my  "ho-ness".

After a few more minutes of discussion that this girl was a serious ho not just your average ho and someone else making the statement “Once a ho… always a ho”. I couldn’t stay quiet even though this was a social media young person conversation. I began to explain loudly about the women in the Bible that had their "ho-ness" deleted by Jesus. 

These women were serious about promiscuity.

Imagine you were there with the woman caught in the very act of adultery. There were these men that had dragged her to Jesus so that he would condemn her to death according to the laws of the Torah. But they did not understand that he had come to delete her ho-ness.

There was the woman at the well who Jesus exposed by putting a prophetic mirror in front of her, telling her about her past, her present and the possibility of her future. Surely when their conversation was over her        ho-ness was completely deleted.

Mary Magdalene may be my favorite ho-  After he deleted her ho-ness she became a true follower of Jesus and is mentioned by name as one of the women that had the privilege of being at the tomb when Jesus was resurrected.   

In Jesus’ lineage there was a few women that others called a “ho” or harlot in biblical language and again they received the privilege of having their names mentioned in the Kingly genealogy. Women like Rahab and Ruth and Tamar who just pretended to be a ho to get her destiny fulfilled.

A few weeks later I was thinking about this interaction and I remembered something very significant and also funny. When my husband and myself had decided to get married we were new believers and did not really understand any Christianese language. We heard it preached and our Pastor teaching about “fornication” being sin but didn’t understand what it was. We were living together and already had a baby and never understood that you weren’t supposed to be having sex when you weren’t married. Whenever someone said that fornication was wrong we kept saying “Amen”, not getting that we were the people they were talking about!!  So when our Pastor taught us this in our marriage counselling we both decided to not have sex until we got married 5 months later. We prayed and asked God to forgive us and to re-virginize (our new word) us until our wedding day. This was not easy as we had lived together for 4 years but we believed that Jesus could delete our ho- ness.

26 years later of being a believer and I have seen the forgiveness of Jesus and the grace of God delete more than just ho- ness from so many people. Drug dealers, liars, thieves, alcoholics, addicts, fornicators, adulterers, prostitutes, murderers, prisoners and demoniacs all transformed. So I  had to share that I am  a firm believer that today you can delete your ho ness , clean your slate, re-virginize, erase your past and have a fresh start, cause Jesus came to delete our ho-ness.

5 Tips to a Clean Slate (How my life as a stool pigeon prepared me to fight temptation)

When I was a young girl I was known in my family as the stool pigeon. They used to call me by many slang names as well; betrayer, canary, deep throat, fink, informant, nark, rat, rat fink, snitch, squealer, stoolie, tattletale, blabbermouth, whistle-blower and even spy.  You see my siblings knew that I could not be trusted to hold any secret attached to our many childhood crimes. The reason was simple and little did I understand then that this would save me many times later in my life.

My mother had this very simple rule in our home. If she found out about something and she asked you to tell the truth she would be more lenient with her discipline or sometimes beating if you confessed rather than if you denied it and somehow we all knew she would eventually find out the story without our confession anyways. Now my mother was like many of the mothers I knew and she had an uncanny way of finding out the truth like she was a secret FBI agent with resources worldwide. I don’t really know if it was my conscience, fear or just wisdom but I found that when I agreed with my mother and asked for forgiveness for what I did and just received the correction even if it meant a lashing, it usually was never as bad as what she would do to my siblings.

Now my brothers and my sister om the other hand had one simple rule- Lie, then deny, deny, deny. I am telling you, my mother would lay out exactly what we had done play by play and my siblings would deny that they were ever involved, even after she had gotten a full confession out of me. Now I only could tell my mother what I had done because my siblings never let me be involved in the fullness of the crime. You know how when the bank robbers are robbing a bank, there is this one person who sits outside in the getaway car? That was me. I was involved with our shenanigans but they never, ever let me know the details of what was actually done. They knew I would crack under the pressure of my mother’s voice asking me to tell her the truth. So the less I knew the better it was. Then I could only confess to the crime that I had committed which was usually small and didn’t always implicate guilt for my siblings.

Like the time my siblings broke into my mother’s room and stole some of her precious stash of special herbs. My mother trusted me so I was made the keeper of the key when she was not home and there was no way they could have gotten into her room without me. They tricked me by telling me that they needed to put something back into the room and that if I would open the door then they would pay me in candy. Well my mother was not fooled and after only a few minutes of grilling me I squealed like fast tires coming down the street. I had opened the door for them, I was guilty. Later my brothers gave me a good beating for snitching.

In my preteen years I did attempt one solo crime that I will never forget because it became legendary gossip in our family from that day forward. Once I stole a $100 bill from my mother’s purse to buy a new pair of white ice skates. All the children at school had a pair and I wanted to go ice skating with them. My brothers had done this misdemeanor many times and they never got in trouble because my mother could never tell who had done it. And of course they would never confess. Well after I took the money my mother was cussing and screaming at my brothers to give her back her rent stash and the guilt took me so bad that I cleaned that whole house till it was shining. My mother knew something was up but before she could even come and ask me I confessed and gave her back the money crying and begging for her not to whip me.   My siblings teased me about this all of my life. They were so ashamed of me. I was a disgrace to the family delinquency.

Fast forward a couple years and this is how I would come to realize the full impact of what my mother had taught me by allowing me to confess to my part in my treachery with my family. I began to notice that anytime I did anything wrong or temptation was at my door that I would find someone of importance to confess to. I would tell on myself so that there would be no way I could follow through with the actual act or any future acts of similarity. Let me give you a few examples. Now please as you read on be careful not to judge me for the thoughts or decisions that I made that may seem like colossal mistakes to you. What is it they say "You never really know what you will do till you walk a mile in someone else`s shoes". 

  

Please note that all names are fiction as to protect the fellow collaborators identities.

Now Sharon, Tina and I would be talking, ok more like gossiping about Mary and what we felt she should do. I would feel badly that I participated in this act as Mary was a close friend but rather than just privately confess in the confession booth at church to an unseen priest. I would take it upon myself to go and tell Mary that I had participated in this act of treason. Now true to what I had done with my siblings I wouldn’t give any other names as I asked Mary to please forgive me for this indiscretion. Well you think it would just end there. But in true fashion to gossipers, Tina would be talking to Mary and begin to gossip about what I had said about Mary, trying to stir up trouble and disunity. Now Mary would realize who the true friend was as she first hand witnessed one of the other culprits participating in the act that I had privately confessed to 3 months prior. I was safe, but Tina and Sharon on the other hand are no longer friends with Mary.

Another example that could have completely backfired on me was early in our marriage my husband had a close friend who made a pass at me once and  I asked him to please tell my husband what had occurred as I knew he had just made a wrong judgement and I may have even led him on unintentionally. He chose not to take this way of escape, so rather than letting this jeopardize my marriage I told my best friend right away and my husband when he returned home from a business trip. We would later discover that this friend was having numerous affairs on his wife, but due to the way I handled it I was not among the list of victims.

It gets even better… years later after coming into relationship with God the Father, Jesus the Son and Holy Spirit my best friend. I practice a truth that lines up with my mother’s teachings and my new found faith.  In 1 John 1:9 (Voice) it says But if we own up to our sins, God shows that He is faithful and just by forgiving us of our sins and purifying us from the pollution of all the bad things we have done. .

I had somehow learned the art of confession, the power of forgiveness and the beauty of grace all beginning from how my mother handled her children’s shortcomings and mischievous deeds.

I also understood and fully embraced 1 Corinthians 10:13 (Voice) where it states  Any temptation you face will be nothing new. But God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can handle. But He always provides a way of escape so that you will be able to endure and keep moving forward.

I have learned that my thoughts can lead to my beliefs and my beliefs can lead to my actions but all of these must line up with what God says is truth. By the power and conviction of the Holy Spirit I can stop myself anywhere before the action or even afterward by confessing my error. God by His sons sacrifice forgives me and my consequence or discipline is always less when I confess my indiscretions. When I acknowledge my wrongdoing in any situation I stand a much better chance of being acquitted by the only One whose judgement truly counts.  He also works out the situation for my good.

So take it from a stool pigeon, better to have others think badly about you than for you to sear your conscience and to go down the path of destruction. My encouragement to those of you that are like my siblings and are choosing to live a life of Lie and Deny, in truth you are only harming yourself, because the consequences are not the worst thing that can happen to you, the result of this type of living is separation from Truth. Over a period of time you will be unable to discern between what is truth and what isn’t. The lies become so numerous that you cannot unravel them. Others will be unable to trust you or your motives.

Now please do not mistake me, I am nowhere near sainthood because I confess my sins. But my slate is cleaned every time I do. So here are 5 tips that can help you to begin again as if those things never happened.

1.     Ask God to forgive you for your sins

2.      Forgive yourself as you receive His forgiveness through Jesus sacrifice

3.      Forgive others and judge them not

4.      Ask Holy Spirit to help you to stay sensitive to truth 

5.      Repeat this process daily

Excerpt from Where the Sunflower Grows  by Charmaine Hinds

Broken Glass

Broken glass can represents a few thing

The symbolism of broken glass means broken promises or shattered expectations.

Your feelings may be hurt or a situation may be turning into a crisis.

At the Jewish wedding feast to consummate the relationship they drink from a wine glass and then they smash the glass

The glass is broken to protect this marriage with the implied prayer: "As this glass shatters, so may your marriage never break." The promises made by the bride and groom, like the broken glass, are irrevocable. It reminds us that love, like glass, is fragile and must be protected.

Shattered glass symbolizes the fragility of our relationships and reminds us that we must treat our relationships with extra special care. It teaches us that in times of joy we must also realize life also brings sadness and sorrow.

 Recently at a conference in 2012 where I was teaching at, the host decided to purchase a thank you gift for me. God told her a specific store in Halifax to go to and one word- the color purple

Unknown to her purple is my favourite color and the color of royalty that I wear often to remind me of my position as the daughter of the King. She went into the store and saw a purple gem rock, amethyst  (which coincidentally was also my birthstone) and decided to purchase it. As she went to take the gemstone off of the shelf something unusual happened. The entire glass shelving and all the remaining stones on the shelves came crashing to the floor. As she stood there before the rubble in disbelief with the gemstone in her hand all she could think about was the thousands of dollars of damage that lay on the floor in a shattered pile of glass. Then quickly something else happened that she did not expect- the attendant at the store came over and reassured her not to worry about the damage as there must have been some imbalance in the shelving for that to happen. Relieved but still in a state of shock she purchased the beautiful rock and had it packaged and wrapped and walked out the doors of the shop. Wow!

After sharing this incredible story with a few people and pondering on its significance the Lord spoke to her about the following.

She received Rev 21:18-20 - Number 12 means leadership, government, perfection, completion and purple symbolizes priesthood.

Amethyst was used as the 12th and last foundation. Each foundation is a unique gem for the adornment in creating the promised and new city to replace the old one.
Out of the broken glass shelves she received the message of Gods grace.

As she presented me with this precious gift and shared this story and meaning to me I knew that the Lord was speaking about the situation and circumstances that had just recently been reconciled and was in the process of restoration with my husband, our marriage, ministry and family.

This broken glass which represented the state of our relationship was because of the imbalance in our marriage and symbolized the brokenness of all of the promises and shattered expectations. But due to the grace of God we were walking away without having to pay the price for the damage and instead we would be rewarded by the amethyst foundation stone which represented the call of God that was on our lives of leadership and priesthood. Not to mention that He would replace the old with the new. What a beautiful gift of Gods Grace over our lives.

 God gave me this song as a reminder of the journey

Broken Glass -Shattered dreams

Broken glass all on the floor
Dreams are shattered they are no more
I cant believe I am here
In this place

What can I get from all of this
More broken plans as I resist
If I surrender now
Will I receive His Grace

Yet all I see are tiny pieces
Small fragments as the pain increases
All the broken glass
As it is falling into space

Yet out of this something shall arise
A prophetic gift, a promised surprise
A treasure for our future
A hopeful prize

This foundation stone is oh so bright
The color purple sparkles against my eyes
Speaks of His wonder, majesty and glory
As it tells the world a beautiful story

 

Grace oh grace His amazing grace

That which I owed has now been paid

Grace has favoured me now I am released

Walking free into destiny

 

For there is no more broken glass

Begun to feel hope again at last

All regrets are now in the past

As we begin to embrace this brand new day

Those shattered dreams to return no more

Just a brand new path and wide open doors

Brushed and swept away up off the floor

Broken glass and shattered dreams are gone

Yes ,broken glass and shattered dreams have gone…

C.Hinds (c) 2012