I held my breath

I held my breath
It was too intense, too much to bear
So instead of loving myself enough to embrace it
Feel it and let my heart, body and mind adjust to it
till I could overcome
I held my breath
In the silence there was a voice very loud saying
“I cant bear to live another moment”
So as I held my breath I cut off the very source of life to me
No life flowed to me in those brief moments
I died just a little bit hoping the pain would go away
I wanted the voices to stop , the situation to change,
the anguish to cease
Yet none of this was truth
And still … I held my breath
Then a still small voice whispered
“Breathe”
Before I could take this precious gift given to me
I would have to exhale
Exhale all the bitterness, exhale all the stress, exhale all the sorrow and grief
I let it all go
Then and only then did I do the unthinkable
With every bit of strength in me
I filled up my lungs with the breath of life
And like I had in the womb instinctively
I began to breath again
inhale , exhale, inhale , exhale
With the rise and falling of my chest I knew there was a change
This time was different
My lungs were being filled, my body was being strengthened, my mind and heart healed
Now with clarity of thought, strength to face the day,
and the breath of life within me
I knew there was nothing to fear
I would live for another day