Monday, May 25, 2015

Good Good Father


So I like many other women, have been a girl with Daddy issues. My issues ran deep and had been compounded in so many ways that to some may seem imaginable. But I was consistently working my way through them as I came to know God as my Heavenly Father and Daddy.


God loved me so much and understood my issues, so He did something I would have never dreamed up in all my thoughts. (Your ways are higher than my ways, your thoughts higher than my thoughts) He gave me the most amazing spiritual father and mother. 
Now it is important that He gave me both as an influence to show me His true nature. For in Him is both male and female.(We were made in His image and likeness)

Well over time my spiritual mum has revealed many things to me. She is both strong and independent, but she adores my Papa as I call him. And that is partially due to my Papa being so loving towards her. She remembers me always and sends me gifts, even though we live provinces away from each other. 
Now Papa is so full of love. I miss him all the time and whenever I go "home" I always run into his arms for a great big hug. He always holds me tight and whispers in my ear “I missed you girl”. 
His love is so genuine and real that it is tangible and I can just let go in his arms and linger there as he holds me up. I love this feeling. And every time I have to leave he again hugs me and whispers " I'm so proud of you girl".


Now my spiritual mum is a true mother and she does all the things a mother would do. she fusses over me, gives me advice, gets excited when good things happen for me and brushes my hair and tells me everything is going to be OK even when it looks like it may not be.

But the thing that lets me know how much she really loves me is that she shares Papa with me and many others. I never feel like she is jealous in any way actually I feel the exact opposite, she directs me to him.

I can be so real with this couple. I don't pretend to be something I'm not because in my heart I somehow know they love me just the way I am. I am blessed to be one of their many spiritual children. 

So here begins my father story. 

I was a member of a prayer movement that chose to pray and fast 3 times a day for 30 days believing God for specific things to manifest.
Well it was 4 months later and almost everything had begun to come to pass . There were only a few I was still waiting on and there was no rush for me. I believed they too would occur in time.

Well a few weeks ago my spiritual parents called me and we were talking and they asked me about my transportation and I revealed to them that I didn't presently own a vehicle. The next thing that happened may seem trivial to many but to this girl getting over her daddy issues, it meant so much more. 
My papa asked out loud “what kind of vehicle do you want?”.
What? You are asking me what type of vehicle I want? I thought in my head.
My spiritual mum repeated the question and told me that papa was going to look for a car for me.
No one except God had ever asked me that and it was on my prayer list. I began to hear in my heart God the Father, my Daddy asking me what type of vehicle I needed. I was so overwhelmed that I just asked for a van big enough to carry all my stuff.


I pondered this conversation for days as I thought about that God loved me so much that He would give me a spiritual dad and mom that had his very nature. 

Then about a week later my friend sent me a text about a song asking me if I had heard it. The song was called “Good, Good Father” by House Fires. So I told her I would listen not realizing that there was a message there just for me.


The next day I got a text from mum that I was to call because papa had bought a van with me in mind. All of a sudden a rush of emotion hit me. I began to cry uncontrollable. I spent the next part of the day mediating on how much my Heavenly Father loves me. Wow! He had done it again and gave me a message to help me with my issues and to take me from the lies I tended to believe to the ultimate truth.


I began to praise him and become grateful for all He had done in my life. I even surrendered my life to His service again. Realizing that He was not rewarding me for my many prayers but that my prayers were because of the enormous amount of blessings He had already stored up for me. 



Now please keep in mind that I hadn't even called them to confirm the message about the van. It really didn't matter if I got the van or not, that wasn't the message or the focus. Many of us focus on God as a tooth fairy, like I put a prayer under my pillow and expect what I want to magically appear. This was not about that. This was about my good, good Father. So I immediately went to You Tube and looked up the song. Well I became unglued, a puddle of nothing on the floor as I listened to lyrics that said "You are a good, good Father that's who You are" and "You love me that's who I am".
This was the timely message He wanted to use to again wash away any remaining false identity that had been caused by my daddy issues. The Fathers love surrounded me like one of those bear hugs I would get from Papa and I felt so loved and safe and accepted. 
This feeling was hugging me for two days and I hadn't been able to call my parents because I just wanted to stay there for a moment as I was writing this story. But then another beautiful thing sealed the message. 

My birthday was a few months earlier and as always my mum had sent me a gift but unfortunately I hadn't received it. It had gotten re-routed and when I got home after the two days there was the gift.  I opened it and the most beautiful purple silk scarf with purple and mint green butterflies all over it dropped to the floor as my tears fell on it. Again I was overwhelmed with a cocktail mix of hormones that were stirred up by the multiple emotions that had begun flowing.

Now to be able to fully understand the significance you must understand what purple means to me and what the butterfly symbolizes. 

Purple is my favorite color and my reminder that I am royalty. Mint green was my reminder that He makes all things new. Butterflies are a symbol of transformation in stages. I teach about the butterfly effect and help others through their transformation process. 



All of these visuals and the reminder that my mum is constantly thinking about me and she celebrates the day I was fearfully and wonderfully made, caused me to again remember my good, good Father. 

Now I love a good sermon, Ted talk, speech or inspirational book on change like everyone else but this was God speaking to me in my language. This group of events that some might consider randomly coincidental, was in truth just another inspirational visual message that was changing my picture of who I thought I was into who He says I am.
My daddy issues can never determine my future they are being eradicated by love, the perfect love of my good, good Father.


 Charmaine Hinds May 2015

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