Good Good Father

So I like many other women, have been a girl with Daddy issues. My issues ran deep and had been compounded in so many ways that to some may seem imaginable. But I was consistently working my way through them as I came to know God as my Heavenly Father and Daddy.

God loved me so much and understood my issues, so He did something I would have never dreamed up in all my thoughts. (Your ways are higher than my ways, your thoughts higher than my thoughts) He gave me the most amazing spiritual father and mother. 

Now it is important that He gave me both as an influence to show me His true nature. For in Him is both male and female.(We were made in His image and likeness)

Well over time my spiritual mum has revealed many things to me. She is both strong and independent, but she adores my Papa as I call him. And that is partially due to my Papa being so loving towards her. She remembers me always and sends me gifts, even though we live provinces away from each other. 

Now Papa is so full of love. I miss him all the time and whenever I go "home" I always run into his arms for a great big hug. He always holds me tight and whispers in my ear “I missed you girl”. 

His love is so genuine and real that it is tangible and I can just let go in his arms and linger there as he holds me up. I love this feeling. And every time I have to leave he again hugs me and whispers " I'm so proud of you girl".

Now my spiritual mum is a true mother and she does all the things a mother would do. she fusses over me, gives me advice, gets excited when good things happen for me and brushes my hair and tells me everything is going to be OK even when it looks like it may not be.

But the thing that lets me know how much she really loves me is that she shares Papa with me and many others. I never feel like she is jealous in any way actually I feel the exact opposite, she directs me to him.

I can be so real with this couple. I don't pretend to be something I'm not because in my heart I somehow know they love me just the way I am. I am blessed to be one of their many spiritual children. 

So here begins my father story. 

I was a member of a prayer movement that chose to pray and fast 3 times a day for 30 days believing God for specific things to manifest.

Well it was 4 months later and almost everything had begun to come to pass . There were only a few I was still waiting on and there was no rush for me. I believed they too would occur in time.

Well a few weeks ago my spiritual parents called me and we were talking and they asked me about my transportation and I revealed to them that I didn't presently own a vehicle. The next thing that happened may seem trivial to many but to this girl getting over her daddy issues, it meant so much more. 

My papa asked out loud “what kind of vehicle do you want?”.

What? You are asking me what type of vehicle I want? I thought in my head.

My spiritual mum repeated the question and told me that papa was going to look for a car for me.

No one except God had ever asked me that and it was on my prayer list. I began to hear in my heart God the Father, my Daddy asking me what type of vehicle I needed. I was so overwhelmed that I just asked for a van big enough to carry all my stuff.

I pondered this conversation for days as I thought about that God loved me so much that He would give me a spiritual dad and mom that had his very nature. 

Then about a week later my friend sent me a text about a song asking me if I had heard it. The song was called “Good, Good Father” by House Fires. So I told her I would listen not realizing that there was a message there just for me.

The next day I got a text from mum that I was to call because papa had bought a van with me in mind. All of a sudden a rush of emotion hit me. I began to cry uncontrollable. I spent the next part of the day mediating on how much my Heavenly Father loves me. Wow! He had done it again and gave me a message to help me with my issues and to take me from the lies I tended to believe to the ultimate truth.

I began to praise him and become grateful for all He had done in my life. I even surrendered my life to His service again. Realizing that He was not rewarding me for my many prayers but that my prayers were because of the enormous amount of blessings He had already stored up for me. 

Now please keep in mind that I hadn't even called them to confirm the message about the van. It really didn't matter if I got the van or not, that wasn't the message or the focus. Many of us focus on God as a tooth fairy, like I put a prayer under my pillow and expect what I want to magically appear. This was not about that. This was about my good, good Father. So I immediately went to You Tube and looked up the song. Well I became unglued, a puddle of nothing on the floor as I listened to lyrics that said "You are a good, good Father that's who You are" and "You love me that's who I am".

This was the timely message He wanted to use to again wash away any remaining false identity that had been caused by my daddy issues. The Fathers love surrounded me like one of those bear hugs I would get from Papa and I felt so loved and safe and accepted. 

This feeling was hugging me for two days and I hadn't been able to call my parents because I just wanted to stay there for a moment as I was writing this story. But then another beautiful thing sealed the message. 

My birthday was a few months earlier and as always my mum had sent me a gift but unfortunately I hadn't received it. It had gotten re-routed and when I got home after the two days there was the gift.  I opened it and the most beautiful purple silk scarf with purple and mint green butterflies all over it dropped to the floor as my tears fell on it. Again I was overwhelmed with a cocktail mix of hormones that were stirred up by the multiple emotions that had begun flowing.

Now to be able to fully understand the significance you must understand what purple means to me and what the butterfly symbolizes. 

Purple is my favorite color and my reminder that I am royalty. Mint green was my reminder that He makes all things new. Butterflies are a symbol of transformation in stages. I teach about the butterfly effect and help others through their transformation process. 

All of these visuals and the reminder that my mum is constantly thinking about me and she celebrates the day I was fearfully and wonderfully made, caused me to again remember my good, good Father. 

Now I love a good sermon, Ted talk, speech or inspirational book on change like everyone else but this was God speaking to me in my language. This group of events that some might consider randomly coincidental, was in truth just another inspirational visual message that was changing my picture of who I thought I was into who He says I am.

My daddy issues can never determine my future they are being eradicated by love, the perfect love of my good, good Father.

 Charmaine Hinds May 2015

I am No Longer a Slave

I am no longer a slave

Chains of bondage holding me captive

Keeping me from the liberty to run free... unchained

Unseen barriers of fear paralyzing a thought of escape

Will I surrender to be a servant locked behind imaginary bars? 

I am no longer a slave...

Yet this generational pain demands to be felt and paid for

Though my mother was born free and my father was liberated

The overseer of my torture has become my mind stuck in the past

So I hang on the tree as a memorial to my ancestors

Though I am no longer a slave...

True freedom has tortured my soul 

As I relinquish to be controlled by a master of my choosing

Why this yoke? when in ultimate truth 

My captors have left the doors unlocked

Yet I am no longer a slave...

Are there keys that release me from this paradigm?

Words that break the hold of these shackles

No more self cruelty with memories that terrorize

Just a prayer that I would be recognized 

I can not be sold for I am not for sale!
I am no longer a slave...

Set free, liberated, unlocked  no fear, no boundaries, no jailer, 

I command all darkness and evil tormenting me to leave

I shall survive, my people  thrive, I will stay alive
Freedom flowing in my veins

For I am No Longer A Slave !

Lady Charmaine

I recently was invited to be a guest speaker for a party for women called "One night in Paris"

The fancy invitation I received was addressed to "Lady Charmaine"

As I read this invite and saw the name on the card I assumed that this title was given to each woman that was invited to this special event.  On the evening of the party when we arrived  and we all  went into the dining room for the dinner portion of the evening, at each seat on the table was a special decorated name tag. As I looked around the table at the different name tags, I realized that each woman had a different title. Some women had lady, countess, baroness, princess etc…

They also had a house that they came from. My card said “Lady Charmaine of the house of Macaw”.

At some point in the evening after reading everyone else’s titles I got it in my heart that I didn't want to be called a lady, but I wanted to be a countess. My reason for this was due to one of my favourite movies- the count of Monte Cristo. As we continued on in the evening I kept asking everyone the difference between the different titles. The only one I was sure I knew was the princess. To become a princess you either were the king’s daughter or you married a prince.

But for some strange reason in my heart I longed to be something else.  I kept wondering which title most fit me and where I wanted to be. I also wanted to know why the host( a personal friend) chose this title for me.

As we began to research the different titles we came up with the following hierarchy. 

Princess

 A woman member of a royal family other than the monarch, especially a daughter of a monarch.

 A woman who is a ruler of a principality.

A noblewoman of varying status or rank. The wife of a prince.  A woman regarded as having the status or qualities of a princess.

Countess     A woman holding the title of count or earl. The wife or widow of a count in various European countries. Used as a title for such a noblewoman.

Baroness                                                                                                                                                    The wife of a baron or a woman holding a baronial title  A woman holding a nonhereditary title conferred by a sovereign in recognition of personal merit or service to the country. The wife or widow of a knight. The female equivalent to a knight.

Lady

A general feminine title of nobility and other rank, specifically:

The title for the wife or widow of a knight or baronet.

A form of address for a marchioness, countess, viscountess, baroness, or baronetess.                            

A courtesy title for the daughter of a duke, a marquis, or an earl.

Used as a courtesy title for the wife of a younger son of a duke or marquis.

After all of this information I decided that a lady was indeed the perfect title for me.

My reasoning was that as a Lady my possibilities were endless.

I could become any of the other titles by my choice. I could marry a prince, baron, earl, count and become a princess, baroness or countess.

If I married the crown prince I could eventually become queen. This excited me.

I also loved the other description of a Lady that said " A well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behavior. A woman regarded as proper and virtuous.”

As I meditated on this I got a revelation about this that each of us have titles that people or circumstances have given to us in life. These titles can limit us and many of us never question our titles.

We don't see that certain titles given to us are limited.

Poverty, abused, aborted, abandoned, oldest sister, nurse, woman, all came with their limitations.

I personally wanted a title that fit who I was and that had possibilities to allow me to come into greatness.

I didn't want to be limited by a label that someone randomly chose for me.

Identity is important to me and I never want to allow random choices from someone else or lack of understanding limit my future potential in any way.

Throughout the Bible there have been many names and titles associated with Jesus Christ such as Savior; Emmanuel; Son of the Highest; Faithful and True; Alpha and Omega; Messiah; King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  He was referred to in Isaiah 9:6 as our: "Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace."

Fascinating, however, is that of all of the names and titles given to Jesus, the one name that Jesus chose to give to Himself is; "The Root and Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star." Revelation 22:16.

Jesus knew who He was and though he allowed others to label him according to their revelation of him, he never let that limit or define who He was and is and always will be.

You need to understand that certain titles over you open doors for you and others close doors.

But you have the awesome ability to change the title in front of your name.

If you want to become a doctor you can go to school and get a degree and become Dr. so and so.

Your title will then change.

Everyday you have an opportunity to become a person that is faithful and then people will use that title when referring to you. You can become honourable, diligent, kind, loving, prosperous, fruitful.  A wife, a mother, a teacher, a pastor,  a prayer warrior …

My purpose (the reason why I exist) is destined by God- that is who I am naturally.

My destiny is decided by me daily. These are my choices that will lead me to fulfil my purposes. I decide where I want to end up and make certain choices to get myself there. The titles come along this journey. So then the beginning or where we start doesn’t always determine our finish or our end.

I left that party which was a special evening of celebration of extraordinary women feeling like I was "Lady Charmaine",  a woman maximizing my potential and ready to accomplish my purpose And to leave a legacy.

Upgrade 8.0 (New Beginning)

This past week I was trying to upload a new app to my I phone and was unable to because it required me to upgrade my phone to the new 8.0 iOS. Now I had been avoiding upgrading my phone for almost a year because I was unsure and afraid that I would lose some of my contacts, music and information and secondly I was really comfortable now with my 6.0 and didn't want to have to relearn the new way things would be done.

But this new app was apart of the new thing God was doing in my life and I needed it on my phone. So I decided to just do it. After saying yes to the upgrade I waited anxiously as it installed to see if I would lose anything. I had previously synced my phone to my computer and also to “The CLOUD”( whatever and wherever that is?) and just prayed that everything would be ok.   

After about 45 minutes my phone came back on looking brighter, newer and unfamiliar to me. I took a deep breath and began to explore the great unknown once more. I now was in the upgrade world of 8.0.

My contacts were there, my apps were there and my music was there. I began to wonder what the big fuss was all about. There were a few things that I didn't know how to do and I just asked a friend who had upgraded their phone and in minutes I was doing the “new thing”.

Well I had to prepare for a workshop that I was doing and I went into my music and nothing would play. It was there but I was unable to access it. After some panic and a few deep breaths I calmed down and realized that maybe I need to sync my phone to my computer again to activate everything. So I plugged in my USB cord and pressed SYNC. Then my phone came up with a message that said TRUST / DON’T TRUST this computer. I tapped TRUST as I knew the source and wanted to have the connection. This Icon would reappear a few times as I tried various attempts to sync but nothing happened. So I continually kept tapping the TRUST button. After going to the help section a message came to me that my computer needed to be upgraded to a higher iOS to be able to sync with my newly upgraded phone.

So again I went into trust mode as I upgraded my computer to 12.0.

Then the syncing began. It was a slow process as my phone now shared information and received information from my computer and “The CLOUD”.  Every few minutes my phone would power down and the TRUST/DON’T TRUST this computer box would pop up and I just kept tapping TRUST.

Then God began to speak.

Many of us have received a call to upgrade 8.0. But due to fear of the unknown and fear that we may lose some of what we have already gained we have procrastinated to install the upgrade. The upgrade works out some of the bugs in our system, it improves they way we do things and it adds some new features that are really cool.

But even though we receive and install the upgrade we also need to sync ourselves BODY, SPIRIT, MIND and SOUL. We need to allow “the CLOUD” to download all the new information necessary to enable us to RUN this new programming.  We don’t need to fear we need to allow the SYNC and to TRUST the process.

After this my music slowly came back onto my phone along with a few other things that I was unaware that were unable to function until the SYNCing. Then my ICLOUD account asked me for my password.

I put my old password which was “Dancerlady”. It rejected it and told me that I needed to create a new one. The RESET button now appeared. This was another message to me that when you upgrade to 8.0 you cant access “The CLOUD” in the same manner. You need to reset your access code. So I changed it to the new business name.

Now I was ready for the new thing God was doing. Incidentally the number 8 is the number for new beginnings.

Go ahead today and receive your upgrade to 8.0!!!

Charmaine Hinds

www.wordofspiritandtruth.blogspot.com

The Diamond Door Knob

As a little girl we moved from an apartment in Scarborough into an old house on the streets of Toronto. I was fascinated to live in a house, but there was one thing that I remember that made me excited. There were old doors in the house and the door knobs looked like diamonds. They were actually brass knobs with a carved glass ball, but with little girls eyes and imagination I dreamed that those door knobs were magical and that one day I would put my hand on the door and just like in “ The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe.” I would enter a beautiful kingdom.

Last week I was in an antique store with a friend and I found a door knob that triggered this memory. I bought the knob and have hung it on my bedroom wall to remind me of child like fascination, holy imagination and a little girl who loved to dream.

Susan was a beautiful soul born at the time of change. Her parents were immigrants that had come to Canada for a better life. Her father was an architect and a very successful business man and they had just recently moved from a small suburb to the city of Toronto, into an old house on one of the main streets. As the movers were unloading the van and placing her family’s possessions into each room, Susan was running from room to room excited about the new things she would do here. She was going to have her very own room. She ran into the kitchen and there on the other side of the room was a closed white door. The old wooden door led to stairs that went up to the top level. On the door was a huge glass knob. Susan went over and her eyes were fixed on the door knob, it looked like a diamond to her. As she held the diamond knob in her hands, her imagination began to flow. What if this was a magical door knob and when she turned the handle that she would walk through the door and into a magical kingdom? She closed her eyes and slowly turned the knob and instantly she was in a meadow surrounded with the most beautiful wild flowers. 

As all little girls will do she began dancing in the meadow singing and laughing without a care in the world. She was just happy to have the warm sun beaming down on her face and the beauty of the meadow around her.  She picked up flowers of purple and yellow and green and made a special bouquet.  She lay down on the grassy ground and looked up at the bright blue sky with the fluffy white clouds floating by. Then she took a deep breath and placed the flowers on her chest and crossed her hands and prayed a simple prayer. “God thank you for loving me and thank you for the diamond door knob.”

When she opened her eyes she was back in the empty kitchen with her hand still on the diamond. She skipped away to see what color the bathroom was, without ever opening the door. She knew that she would come back many times while they lived here to go to her new found mysterious place. Moving here was going to be great! – she had discovered a magnificent diamond door knob that led her into a magical kingdom.

Charmaine Hinds June 2014

Another Damsel in Distress? (Powerful women of the year 2014)

I know that many of us especially young women have been raised on the beautiful and romantic stories from Disney that always begin with a beautiful but tragic female character being imprisoned, treated badly by a vicious step mother or somehow being trapped by her cruel circumstances.

All of these women possess amazing character qualities as well as beauty, so as to make their supposed entrapment seem so unjust and unfair. As she is helpless all she can do is await a prince to come to save her. Her life is suspended as she lives in a tower, or lies in a deep sleep, is mistreated by a mean step mother and she is always unable to rescue herself. 

Cinderella, the sleeping beauty Snow white, Rapunzel with the long hair, the little mermaid Ariel, Jasmine, and Pochohantas all of them can only be saved by one thing, marrying the prince or the male hero in their story and then becoming the princess they were always meant to be. Belle even goes so far as to fall in love with a beast and try to change him with love.

Well I am here to dismiss this untruth for you - these stories are false and have entrapped so many other beautiful and amazing young women of this generation from reaching their full potential, as they suspend their lives trying to stay beautiful and awaiting their prince hero to arrive and rescue them from their circumstances. I want to scream “Wake up sleeping beauty, climb down your own hair Rapunzel, Belle the beast can only treat you badly if you allow him to and Ariel be who you were called to be and stop trying to be someone or something else!”.  

The truth of it all is that Disney created these magical stories from the true origins that are sometimes quite horrific tales of a more realistic nature.  We must teach our daughters that in the real world there is no fairy dust or glass slipper and that we must remove ourselves from people that have evil intentions towards us. There is nothing enlightening about suffering while you wait to be rescued. Not to mention the pressure we have placed on our young men to be a knight in shining armor that is looking for a helpless woman to rescue. Men of today have respect and admiration for strong women that are loving and capable of taking care of themselves.

And yes there are happy endings but they don’t always look like a Disney fairy tale. Sometimes the female character does not get married and instead is the CEO of a large corporation, she does and can live happily ever after if she has encountered her true self and purpose. Or maybe she looks like mother Teresa who lived a life of servant hood and rescued others in rescuing herself. She might be the single mother that is truly a hero for taking the responsibility that was too much for the prince that ran away from it all. What ever her life is she must be responsible for her true happiness and not give the responsibility away to another.

Here are a few links to share the origin and to dispel the myths that we have come to believe via our journey with Disney for the past 8 decades.

http://listverse.com/2013/02/13/10-disney-movies-with-horrific-origins/

http://www.policymic.com/articles/45409/5-shocking-origins-of-disney-classics

http://www.buzzfeed.com/adamellis/super-dark-origins-behind-your-favorite-disney-movies

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/12/the-real-story-behind-eve_n_4239730.html

Charmaine 

To My Children- You are my Mirror

The day you were born I looked at you and saw myself in the mirror.

I saw what I was and what I wasn’t, what I had and what I lacked, what I wanted and what I wanted to get rid of in me – Your birth caused the true me to begin to arise.

I let you set the standard and tell me what you needed and when you needed it even when every Dr Spock book said otherwise.

You slept in my bed and I held you close because I knew that our time together would be a short blip in eternity and every moment together was precious

Your tears meant I had a job to do- to find out why they were there and to help you better communicate what your needs were.

When I yelled at you for not hurrying it was because I truly wanted to slow down and enjoy my day.

You didn’t continue with gymnastics or drums because I saw you hated it and I didn’t want you to live out my dream, just to find your own.

I wasn’t set off by you quitting something because the way I found me was by quitting those things that made me miserable and doing the things that I loved.

My need to control was seen in every temper tantrum, especially in the ones I had.

Loud voices that crushed your spirit and jagged words that cut your soul will forever be a mistake that I will need forgiveness for.

Many times punishment, discipline and consequences were my way of showing you who was The Boss- Sorry for not always letting natural consequences teach you. 

The craziness you witnessed was my way of dealing with my own frustrations, inadequacies, tiredness, lack of leadership and brokenness.

I didn’t put emphasis on marks, grades and tests because I didn’t want you to be more concerned with your mistakes than the fact that you were doing your best and that was good enough.

Sorry for the moments I seemed double minded but the world was telling me to make you a success and forgot to give me permission to recognize the true essence of who you are.

For every label that was placed in your pathway, rebellious, lazy, quitter, introvert, bully, ADHD, stupid, mean, bad, sick, I tried to erase them with love.

Whenever I let something or someone else seem more important than you, that was not truth. You have been one of my greatest treasures.

That day in the grocery store when I walked away from you screaming for the candy, I walked very slowly and my heart was calling for you to just understand.

When you took apart our lawn mower I wasn’t more concerned with what was broken than with the fact that your curiosity kept calling you to take things apart and then try to find ways to put them back together- maybe you had a engineers mind.

The reason your teachers kept reporting that you talk a lot during school time is because in my womb that was all you heard for 9 months and from the moment I hugged you into this world I have never stopped talking to you, relationship and communication is a vital part of your heritage.

My job was not to fix you but to fix me and in doing so give you a living example that people truly can change.

I vowed to be a better parent than the ones I had, not being conscious that they were the ones that damaged the tools I was supposed to use to mold and shape you with.

I hear you when you tell me that life is not fair and I am sorry for the times that I have had to reinforce this so you can become stronger, but you have definitely become stronger.

You are my future and the future is found in you, please forgive me for bringing my past into your present and withholding the possibilities of a brighter tomorrow.

I just want to love you and to help you become nothing more and nothing less than the person you were always meant to be.

When you spoke up and told me who you saw me or someone else being, I am sorry if I told you not to be rude and shut down your voice from being heard.

It is true that I am a hypocrite when I tell you to do one thing and then I do the opposite.

I have humbled myself to learn with you as a parent and I still don’t know everything.

Forgive me for betraying you by teaching you to listen to your inner voice and not hearing that voice until you screamed it out loud.

Remember to choose Relationship not Religion, Purpose not Career, Prosperity not Riches, Love and never Hate, Forgiveness not Revenge and embrace who you are in the process.

Every book I read to you was me giving and sharing one of my greatest loves with you.

I forgot that I don’t own you, you are your own person and what you do does not always reflect me, but everything I do does reflect you.

You have been my mirror and I have learned more about myself from parenting you. You each have been one of my greatest teachers

Thank you Mom