Sunday, November 25, 2018

Tale of two marriages- "till death do us part"

I literally heard the story of two marriages and the death of two husbands in two days.
I encountered an old acquaintance that I knew long ago in a church I used to attend. She quickly told me the story of how her husband had just died. In the process of her sharing she asked me if I had known they were divorced as if she felt everyone somehow knew this information. Considering I hadn’t seen or spoke to her for over 16 years I found this question/statement a bit odd. As she told me the story of the breakdown and demise of her marriage with this man I once knew, in truth I have to say I was silent and could only listen. She then shared how he had moved away to another city away from his family and that he had a heart attack in his small apartment all alone and after no one had heard from him for a few days- she had gone to his apartment and found him dead. She had a funeral for him the previous week and as she communicated this sad story to me I could feel and sense the regret and sorrow she was experiencing over the path and outcome of her marriage to this man during her season of grief. She told me that if they had still been together that he would have never died like that- alone and forgotten.
Then I attended a funeral the next day of a good friends father. I listened intently as this man's daughter did the most amazing eulogy with her 5 adult siblings lovingly standing beside her for moral support. Then as the service portion was closing the wife of the man that had passed away from a weakened heart condition shared the following words that I will never forget.
She shared her beautiful relationship with this man and why she was at such peace during all that had happened. She said that she had cared for her husband during the seven months of his palliative care at home with every last bit of love that she had to give to him. She gave him her everything during her last few months with him.
She said she had to do everything for him and it was as if he had gone from being her husband taking care of her to being like her child. She shared as everyone listening laughed out loud about how she had reassured him that when she had to leave him even for 15 minutes to go to the store that she wasn’t thinking about anyone else but him. Her heart was still fully his.
She did not seem resentful about having to do this in any way but quite the opposite, on her beautiful regal face there was a serene sense of peace and joy.
This man had his last days spent with what he treasured the most his family, they were all present when he took his last breath. He was surrounded with the treasures that he had invested in with all his life and they held him as he left this world and crossed over happily into eternity.
This marriage story made me cry and made my heart smile.
When I was pondering these two stories I was watching a Facebook post from a friend as he proposed to his girlfriend and future wife and it dawned on me the significance of these two tales of two marriages.
The investment to share your life with another is not just in the good times. Most wedding vows say something like “till death do us part”. This is a spiritual understanding that says that nothing but death can separate us. Marriage is forever. In a world and time where we have disposable promises and vows can easily be broken. Where honor and respect and love rarely ever intertwine, the covenant of marriage should result in the statement this woman that had been married to her best friend for so many years said, "I poured out all the love I had for him on him and in the end there was nothing more to give". She gave it all.
Wow! In an age where many men don’t honor or love their wives when they aren’t meeting their needs and some women are exerting their rights to be independent. When the fiber of marriage is being torn apart by the unraveling of a single interwoven thread, I received a message of “ till death do us part”.
I heard the message loud and clear and having gone through my share of difficulties in my own marriage through the 29 years, I renewed in my heart to love the man I made a covenant with 3 times ( we have renewed our vows twice) "till death us do part" no matter what the circumstance or situation. And most important to pour out all the love I have for him so in the end I can say "It is well with my soul"
If this story has impacted you like it impacted me then take a moment and pray for two marriages
today.

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