Monday, January 2, 2017

Truth and Reality- a story of depression and hope

I had just completed my third fashion show production under my company Charms Presentations and was in my hotel room at the Holiday Inn discussing  what had happened with my husband the following morning. The reviews were coming in and everyone was commenting how amazing the show was. It was flawless and they all loved it and though this was the answer I wanted to hear, I knew the truth. It was a disaster but only to those who could see behind the scenes. I had difficulty with the models, some of the clothing went missing, sales were low and I would have to financially cover the overage personally. In this very moment something inside me went still and I began a journey that would take me into my “pit” experience.

I am not quite sure exactly what happened but this I know – that the analogy of life being a fashion show and everyone only caring about what they saw on the outside and their perception of perfection being that everything they saw looked ok, triggered something in me to begin to deal with what the truth about what is really happening behind the scenes, in the wings.   I began to understand that success is measured in totality and truth not perception of reality.

I was living a lie. My life was all about the perception of reality and there were things in my life that were very wrong. I had lies I had told my self to just survive but now they were taking over and beginning to control me. I had begun a journey to deal with the truth.
I began to travel into a very dark place and after a while I found myself in what I now refer to as the “pit”.

This place is dark and lonely and desolate and cold and hard and you have no energy and you cry continually- some call it depression others have names to label it but all I know is that I was in a pit and I couldn’t do anything to get myself out. It was too deep and too wide and I was too tired and confused and overwhelmed and lost.

I gave up on everything – I was lost deep in myself. I stayed on my couch for days and couldn’t tend to anything, I struggled to do the very basic things, I couldn’t talk or pray or even the sight of my children caused me to cry. I had a new born infant during this time and this too may have been one of the reasons that I reached the precipice of the pit at this time. I was unable to bond with her and my mother instinct was dormant.

I knew I was in a bad way but my natural human instincts to pretend and get on with life were not working. I was facing truth and behind the scenes there was a mess. This mess was me.

I don’t know how long this went on for but it felt like months and years. But then one day when everything was really dark and I thought my life was over and I didn’t even care anymore then something amazing happened. I heard a voice deep in me telling me to grab His hand. I had heard so many voices during this time but this voice was different. The other voices were telling me that I was a failure, useless, a liar, I didn’t deserve to live. But this voice was sweet and gentle and strong and powerful and so full of Love and then I saw the hand. It was reaching down into “my pit” and offering me hope. I couldn’t believe that He would come this far for me and that He still loved me and wanted to rescue me. It took everything within me and all the strength I could find to grab a hold of that hand and let Him pull me up and out of that pit.


Now, I want to tell you that instantly everything was better, but in truth it was just the beginning. But  now I had hope.

I would hold onto that hand as a very lifeline as I daily began to find my way back from the distance that those lies had taken me to. I began to face the truth and speak out what was really happening and what I was experiencing and what I was struggling with. I began to tell shame and guilt that they were no longer welcome and that I was getting help from another source. Fear became my enemy and hope became my strength. Everyday I was becoming a little bit more … free. Free from the past, free from bondage of a reality that wasn’t based on truth, free from unhealthy relationships, free from letting the darkness overcome any light that was trying to shine through. I was letting Him pull me out of the pit.

Now I know I haven’t shared with you all the gory details of what happened in my counselling sessions, what steps did I take to become free and  I am sure you are wondering what were the lies she was believing? But none of those things really are the focus of what I am sharing with you. The reason I am telling this story is because I wanted to acknowledge my pit experience and let anyone out there know that your experience is real though it may be different than mine. You may feel like you are in a deep dark space or a wilderness, a desert, a dry place, or maybe locked in a cage, a jail or even feel like a slave or a prisoner, maybe you don’t even have words to describe where you are but I wanted you to know that there is someone who can help you. Listen to the voice that is extending His hand to you and let Him pull you out, lift you up, shine the light, unlock the door, give water to your soul. Let Him rescue you.

And then do the everyday work that may be hard sometimes, but is required to gain your freedom.
What you are experiencing is just the beginning of your journey from darkness to light, from pain to joy, from empty to full, from lies to truth and it can become glorious if you surrender and travel the path back from reality to truth.


I know you can do it – because I did.

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